Stephanie Rapp tells us about the final gift her mother was able to receive at the end of her life.
My mom died in January just shy of her 91st birthday. After years of poor health, she recently experienced a rapid decline in independence and a sharp increase in pain. She’d been adamant about what she wanted and carried a bright pink Do Not Resuscitate order to dozens of hospital visits. “This is not living,” she’d say, as she struggled to feed herself and began losing her eyesight. Abruptly, she stopped eating and stayed in bed.
Thankfully, she was able to benefit from California’s End of Life Option Act. For people deemed to have less than six months to live, and capable of expressing their wishes, a doctor can prescribe a cocktail of medications that will painlessly end their life. Many people don’t know about this law, passed in 2016. Nor do many doctors, who at best might have viewed a short training film. You need three visits with two physicians in person or video, one of whom is willing to prescribe. There is paperwork and a lot of questions. If you can coordinate these visits, and meet the criteria, you still have to procure the $700 medicine, available in only one Bay Area pharmacy.
During the time it takes to complete these steps, patients may lose the necessary mental or physical functioning to proceed.
We were lucky. We had an amazing doctor, the help of hospice, and I was persistent. My mom’s resolve made it easier for me to be her advocate. As I mixed the powder with apple juice, and handed her the bottle, I knew I was giving her a gift. “I love you more than love,” she whispered. Despite her weakness and the liquid’s bitter taste, she was happy in those final moments, when she was after so long able to take control one last time.
With a Perspective, I’m Stephanie Rapp.